So... I don't know if anyone other than Rachel actually reads this blog of mine, but what the heck, I have to write something for the month of June anyways ;) So judging by the title, you've probably figured out what this little blurb is going to be about! It's about Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada... the soon-to-be place I call home.
I don't really know what I can say about it, all I know is that if any of you out there who may read this want to pray for me, well then by all means, pray to your hearts desire about this new stage in my life! I will be heading to Vancouver, no later than mid September with my brother who will be attending VCAD (Vancouver College of Arts and Design) for an extensive Graphics Design course over the span of 1.5 years. While he's off to school, I will be working to try and make sure we both don't end up on the street :O! Yikes! Haha.
In order for that to happen, I am going to need a job, and a job I have been looking for the past month. I've applied to multiple places, and will continue to apply to multiple places until I find a sufficient employment to try and cover the basic costs of living for us, and hopefully have enough on the side for a little enjoyment in our lives :P It would royally suck being oh so close to some friends that we've never had the opportunity to hang out with, and not have enough money to take advantage of that.
Speaking of those friends, I am so thankful for them, they've become very important parts of my life, and I can't imagine my life without them now! They know who they are, even though some of them may not read this. On the friend note, I will be leaving behind friends as well, and that is going to be hard for me... as I've spent most of my 23 years with these friends, and they're going to be 3 days away.
Another aspect of the distance that sucks is the fact that my bro and I are going to be VERY far away our parents and our sisters... This is going to be the hardest thing for me, because even though we may not all get along 24/7, I love them all SO MUCH and I would be nothing without them. I mean I'm tearing up just thinking about it, I don't know how I'm going to be able to leave that day we head off to Vancouver. It's going to be the hardest day of my life, no doubt about it.
Anyways, enough of the rollercoaster of emotions that I've put you through in this blog post :P That's just a little update I wanted to get out there. Thanks for reading!
-Ryan
Jun 11, 2010
The (Cursed) Heart Upon The Sleeve
Ever since I can remember, I've always cared for people. I've always loved to help people, offer advice, help people problem solve. I've always been there when the going gets tough, and they needed a shoulder to cry on. But the moment they don't need you anymore, they forget about you, they don't remember any of the times spent leaning on your shoulder. They don't remember the effort you put in to help them, explain things to them, trying to help them understand... they just stop caring, and move on. They run away, never looking back.
I'm sick of this heart on my sleeve... is it a gift, or is it a curse? Something I'll always have, because I can't turn off the fact that I care about people regardless of the hurt, the pain, the trials I go through. Every time it hurts more and more, cutting deeper and deeper, but I can't stop it... it'll never go away.
I know God made me this way for some reason, and I know I get hurt continuously for some reason... but it's really starting to get to me, and I really need direction not only for this, but for my life in general. So PLEASE God, give me some direction in my life... show me what I'm supposed to do with this heart upon my sleeve.
I'm sick of this heart on my sleeve... is it a gift, or is it a curse? Something I'll always have, because I can't turn off the fact that I care about people regardless of the hurt, the pain, the trials I go through. Every time it hurts more and more, cutting deeper and deeper, but I can't stop it... it'll never go away.
I know God made me this way for some reason, and I know I get hurt continuously for some reason... but it's really starting to get to me, and I really need direction not only for this, but for my life in general. So PLEASE God, give me some direction in my life... show me what I'm supposed to do with this heart upon my sleeve.
A Flickering Candle Within the Darkness
Everyone who is born into this world wonders the same thing, "what is this life that we live, and what are we to do with it?" What should we, as human beings strive for? Strive to be? There are many who explore many different areas, many different things, but in the end find themselves as empty as they were beforehand, and still searching for that one thing to make them belong. Some people pick gangs, some people pick drugs and alcohol, some people pick sex, some people pick money, and some pick religion. Where does that leave them in the end? It leaves them empty, living in the dark and cold without the flicker of a burning flame to brighten up that dark place, or to stop themselves from shivering.
None of these things, none of these "fills" that we as humans bring into our lives brings true happiness, regardless of what you believe you are feeling when involved with any of them. They bring upon darkness, false hope, lust, greed, and most importantly, an excruciating eternal life after death. I know that we all have struggles, I can sympathize with that. I have many MANY struggles that I deal with day in and day out... some that I HATE myself for, but just can't make myself shake free of these things. They make me feel worthless, they make me want to scream, they make me want to hide from life, as far away as possible! It is a constant struggle, but something that I know I can overcome because unlike the many who don't have that candle flickering in the dark, I've got mine.
Now the question is, what is this candle flickering in the dark - how does one come to acquiring one of these? Is it by joining a gang, or how about drugs, alcohol, sex, money, organized religion? Can I get it through any of those? The answer is simply NO! There is one way, paved by one man. His name? Jesus, the son of God.
Jesus is the way, he is the truth, and he is the LIGHT... no man comes to the Father except through him. Jesus is the ONLY way that you will find that flickering candle in the darkness that is life. You have to accept Jesus into your heart, and your life, and live your life for him. We're all human, and we all make a ridiculous amount of mistakes. But with Christ, all things are possible, and you can overcome them.
My name's Ryan... and I was lost but now I'm found.
P.S. I'm a Jesus Freak
None of these things, none of these "fills" that we as humans bring into our lives brings true happiness, regardless of what you believe you are feeling when involved with any of them. They bring upon darkness, false hope, lust, greed, and most importantly, an excruciating eternal life after death. I know that we all have struggles, I can sympathize with that. I have many MANY struggles that I deal with day in and day out... some that I HATE myself for, but just can't make myself shake free of these things. They make me feel worthless, they make me want to scream, they make me want to hide from life, as far away as possible! It is a constant struggle, but something that I know I can overcome because unlike the many who don't have that candle flickering in the dark, I've got mine.
Now the question is, what is this candle flickering in the dark - how does one come to acquiring one of these? Is it by joining a gang, or how about drugs, alcohol, sex, money, organized religion? Can I get it through any of those? The answer is simply NO! There is one way, paved by one man. His name? Jesus, the son of God.
Jesus is the way, he is the truth, and he is the LIGHT... no man comes to the Father except through him. Jesus is the ONLY way that you will find that flickering candle in the darkness that is life. You have to accept Jesus into your heart, and your life, and live your life for him. We're all human, and we all make a ridiculous amount of mistakes. But with Christ, all things are possible, and you can overcome them.
My name's Ryan... and I was lost but now I'm found.
P.S. I'm a Jesus Freak
Bleh - The Ramblings of a sick man (physically, not mentally :P)
Well, I'm sitting here pretty darn bored at the moment, and so I figured "what the heck, I'll write about being sick on my blog". I'm not really sure anyone aside from Rachel reads it, and she already knows that I'm sick, but meh... gives me something to do.
So I was all fine and dandy up until Saturday afternoon, where I sort of started to develop a bit of a sore throat/itchy throat. Then Sunday morning I woke up pretty abruptly around 8am (was hoping to sleep in til 9 before getting ready for church) because I was having a hard time breathing due to my throat being ridiculously swollen and might I add, extremely sore. So, I ended up popping some tylenol, and taking 6 vitamin C, and watching a bit of TV before going back to bed til the family got back around 12:30 and entered the house quite noisily (very considerate of them I know, haha). Well over the day my throat went down in terms of swelling and soreness, enough so that I could actually eat some food aside from yogurt and ice cream... which was nice. I went to bed that night (after popping another 6 vitamin C's) hoping and praying that when I woke up I would be feeling much better.
Alas, that was not the case unfortunately and it is now Wednesday and I feel like absolute crap still. I've been taking 12 vitamin C / day, drinking lots of orange juice, and getting at least 8 hours of sleep, however I'm at my weakest point today. I'm hoping that my weakness today is a sign that the body is really fighting the virus, expending all it's energy on that in order to defeat it, and that by tomorrow morning I'll be good as new. I've really been missing my daily P90X workouts, and am really disappointed I've only been able to complete one over the past 4 days. It was going so well, and after a month was really feeling better about myself than I had in years! Ah well, once I get better I'll just pick up right where I left off and continue to push myself to make my body a better temple for Christ!
Mmk, I do believe that's about all the rambling about being sick I can type up right now, and that I should go lay down.... which is indeed what I shall do.
So I was all fine and dandy up until Saturday afternoon, where I sort of started to develop a bit of a sore throat/itchy throat. Then Sunday morning I woke up pretty abruptly around 8am (was hoping to sleep in til 9 before getting ready for church) because I was having a hard time breathing due to my throat being ridiculously swollen and might I add, extremely sore. So, I ended up popping some tylenol, and taking 6 vitamin C, and watching a bit of TV before going back to bed til the family got back around 12:30 and entered the house quite noisily (very considerate of them I know, haha). Well over the day my throat went down in terms of swelling and soreness, enough so that I could actually eat some food aside from yogurt and ice cream... which was nice. I went to bed that night (after popping another 6 vitamin C's) hoping and praying that when I woke up I would be feeling much better.
Alas, that was not the case unfortunately and it is now Wednesday and I feel like absolute crap still. I've been taking 12 vitamin C / day, drinking lots of orange juice, and getting at least 8 hours of sleep, however I'm at my weakest point today. I'm hoping that my weakness today is a sign that the body is really fighting the virus, expending all it's energy on that in order to defeat it, and that by tomorrow morning I'll be good as new. I've really been missing my daily P90X workouts, and am really disappointed I've only been able to complete one over the past 4 days. It was going so well, and after a month was really feeling better about myself than I had in years! Ah well, once I get better I'll just pick up right where I left off and continue to push myself to make my body a better temple for Christ!
Mmk, I do believe that's about all the rambling about being sick I can type up right now, and that I should go lay down.... which is indeed what I shall do.
25 Random Things About Me
1. I hate flying, even though I have never flown.
2. I love chocolate milk.
3. I'm 6'6.25"
4. Pizzeria Johnny's makes the best poutine ever.
5. I have lived in 5 different houses over my 23 years.
6. I have a 1-2" scar on the right side of my head from an operation before the age of 1.
7. I first drove a truck at the age of 12 in the hayfield.
8. I learned how to drive a standard vehicle in 5 mins by driving around in a field.
9. I've played the drums for 9 years.
10. I played college basketball.
11. I cried at the end of the movie "Click".
12. I have 21 cousins on my Dads side, and 3 cousins on my Moms side.
13. I'm a diehard Habs fan, living with a Bruins fan (Dad), and a Leafs fan (Brother).
14. My Grandfather was cousins with former NHLer, and Hall of Famer - Milt Schmidt.
15. The first motorized vehicle I ever drove on the road (at the age of 11) was a lawn mower tractor.
16. I am a certified national level coach - basketball.
17. I hope to one day marry the girl God has in mind for me, and have children of my own!
18. I fell down a very tall and steep staircase around the age of 2.
19. I almost drowned when I was 6, because I didn't know how to swim and I stepped off into the deep end of the pond by accident :/ Luckily my cousin Nathalie could swim and helped me.
20. I have never been on a roller coaster.
21. I accepted Jesus into my heart at the age of 4. I still remember the details as if it were yesterday.
22. I really want to get myself a 4-wheeler.
23. I'm a hugger - love hugs!
24. I wish teleporting was a viable option for travel so I could hang out with the awesome people that I know who live a ways away.
25. This is the first March that I can remember where there is so little snow on the ground.
2. I love chocolate milk.
3. I'm 6'6.25"
4. Pizzeria Johnny's makes the best poutine ever.
5. I have lived in 5 different houses over my 23 years.
6. I have a 1-2" scar on the right side of my head from an operation before the age of 1.
7. I first drove a truck at the age of 12 in the hayfield.
8. I learned how to drive a standard vehicle in 5 mins by driving around in a field.
9. I've played the drums for 9 years.
10. I played college basketball.
11. I cried at the end of the movie "Click".
12. I have 21 cousins on my Dads side, and 3 cousins on my Moms side.
13. I'm a diehard Habs fan, living with a Bruins fan (Dad), and a Leafs fan (Brother).
14. My Grandfather was cousins with former NHLer, and Hall of Famer - Milt Schmidt.
15. The first motorized vehicle I ever drove on the road (at the age of 11) was a lawn mower tractor.
16. I am a certified national level coach - basketball.
17. I hope to one day marry the girl God has in mind for me, and have children of my own!
18. I fell down a very tall and steep staircase around the age of 2.
19. I almost drowned when I was 6, because I didn't know how to swim and I stepped off into the deep end of the pond by accident :/ Luckily my cousin Nathalie could swim and helped me.
20. I have never been on a roller coaster.
21. I accepted Jesus into my heart at the age of 4. I still remember the details as if it were yesterday.
22. I really want to get myself a 4-wheeler.
23. I'm a hugger - love hugs!
24. I wish teleporting was a viable option for travel so I could hang out with the awesome people that I know who live a ways away.
25. This is the first March that I can remember where there is so little snow on the ground.
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